Well that didn’t work. Nearly two years later, I’m returning to this blog for the exact same reasons I did before. Nothing much has changed. I guess now I’ve learned my lesson about lofty declarations of intent. So this time, I’m not going to make any promises about how good I’m gonna blog. The fact is, I’m probably not going to blog. I made one post 22 or so months ago, didn’t tell anyone I made it, and promptly forgot all about it. I’ve spent probably $120 on this domain name so far? I think it’s $60 a year? It auto charges my paypal or something so who knows. But it’s a small price to pay to keep some other asshole named Cashel O’Malley from starting a blog under his own name and never posting to it. So if you’re reading this, other Cashel, fuck you.

It’s been a rough two years! I got a band going, played some shows, then it went right down the shitter. We recorded an album that I’m about to start pretending to mix. Just like Fugazi and Radiohead, we’re on indefinite hiatus. (If you don’t know, that’s the band equivalent of staying married for tax purposes). Functionally, we’re kaput. Unlike Fugazi or Radiohead, not many people are aware of or upset by that fact. Our shows had decent turnout, we’ve got a few friends who’ll be excited to hear the album when it comes out. But we never could cross the mystic threshold between “30 people come to your shows” and “200 people come to your shows.” I think we could have if we’d stuck with it, but hey, no point in empty speculation. The album’s really good, I’m probably more proud of it than anything I’ve ever done in my life, but it’s destined to be another thing that just gets thrown into the graveyard of the internet and forgotten. Just like this blog! The fucking internet, man! Luckily, I’m in another band that’s going much better and I’m having a lot of fun. But the experience of having this creative project which I really threw myself into just burn to a cinder has really done a number on me. Now I have semi-permanent bags under my eyes. I kinda like it. Natural eyeshadow. I’m goth now.

As I write, I’m home visiting my mom in LA. (Technically Inland Empire don’t tell anyone). I did spend a few days couch surfing among my friends from home on the west side, and I gotta tell ya, it ain’t bad! I’m really thinking about bailing on New York and coming back. Sure, there’s a Joan Didion type dark hollow underneath the sunny facade of California that consumes the souls of all who set foot in this wretched state, but god damn it it’s MY dark hollow. It’s sooo much more fun to be performatively cynical in LA than NYC. That’s my whole thing! Maybe I’ll make an auspicious return in the next year or two. Or not. I feel this way every time I come home. But maybe after nearly 7 years of coming home that’s something I should listen to.

Fuck! I’ve only written three paragraphs! I’ve been here for like a half hour. This shit is hard. I come from a Blogging Family, this is a disgrace to my forebears. I’m getting bored already, and I’m probably gonna wrap it up. We’ll see if I keep going this time. If not, see you in two years!